People really are stupid.

Yeah, I know it's been months since I've updated this damned thing. Thanks Jess for reminding me. So lets see...I've been working at Country Kitchen for about two months now. I was promoted two weeks ago to shift supervisor/manager because I had another job offer elsewhere as an assistant manager and my employer didn't want me to leave so he beat their offer in an effort to keep me. I totally love the people I work with, and that's why I chose to stay. After that, I was offered two more jobs at other places, both of which I turned down. Work is going well, but I'm hardly ever home.

I had to give up alcohol in an effort to not ruin my marriage, and I've finally admitted that I really do have a problem. My problem is not with alcohol itself, it is that when I drink I don't have the ability to stop myself. If I get enough alcohol in me I don't give a shit about anything, and just want to keep drinking. Enough so, that it almost cost me my husband walking out on me because I went out drinking with a couple friends and didn't come home until three in the morning. Now that that's resolved, I feel a little bit better but it doesn't stop the urges to drink. I need to find something more constructive to do with my frustrations. I'm the third generation in a family of alcoholics, this isn't just in my head it's in my blood and it is not easy to resist the temptations.

Our trip to Arizona is coming up fast, and I'm getting really excited. We leave on the first of July and won't be back until the 14th. My mom and I are planning on taking a one night trip to San Diego in order to show the hubby and kiddo where I grew up and play tourist, take them to the beach, etc. Neither have ever been and I think they will enjoy it immensely. Other than that, not a whole lot is goin on around these parts...maybe I'll update this sooner next time (lol).

Much Love,

Job hunting sucks ass!

Again, I know I haven't posted in a while. Work has slowed down to a drunk crawl, the kind that takes forever to get somewhere. I'm steadily working 3 days a week, and there is almost no business at all. I find myself sitting there for 6 hours at a time staring at the walls because there's absolutely nothing to do. I kind of got in trouble for having yahoo messenger on and I was forced to take it off of the work computer, so now there really is NOTHING to do there. I was just told yesterday by another employee that if for any reason we're not working for the company through the end of tax season (April 15th), we won't get paid our commission. That means if he lays us off or fires us or anything, he won't have to pay us for our commission for the entire tax season! I am so not pleased with this.

I've been trying to find another job here lately but work is slim in this crappy town. I was going to apply for an accounting position but they must have already hired someone because the next day it wasn't in the paper anymore. I'm applying for yet another teller position, lets hope I get it. I'm used to the extra income from working and I'd hate to not have it. We only have a few weeks left of working, so I gotta get on the ball and get me a new job.

School is going alright. I'm up to a 3.46 gpa and this corporate finance class is progressing smoothly. Accounting for Information Systems is my next course and the reading alone is going to be a chore, there's 4-6 chapters a week!

I've decided to bring my mom my older computer when we go visit them, because she don't have one and I'm so proud of her for staying out of trouble for the past year. She's still got a place of her own, and has been at the same job for a year. This means that I'm having to put all of my stuff onto my new computer. While this is quite a task, I'm finding that I'm going to have to add another hard drive because I've just got so much! I'm hoping that between my grants and student loans I should have enough left over to finally buy me a laptop that I can use for school stuff. That way I won't have to have it all on my desktop computer. I'm kind of used to having two computers around now and I'm going to feel so naked giving this one away.

My grandma isn't doing particularly great. She's got 85% blockage from her kidneys down and nobody wants to operate to fix it. She's got an appointment with the surgeon who did my grandpa's heart bypasses, we're hoping that he can do something for her.

Hubby and I are getting along just fine. We've spent our tax refund mostly on the house. I got to send $1000 to my grandma to put on my appliances which really pleased me, a little less to worry about come pay back time. We got a new furnace and it's working great. We also have all new windows coming for the first floor. I am so excited I can't wait! I'll finally be able to air out the house!! The bat guy is coming monday to set up traps so we can find out where the damn bats are getting in. We had another one in the basement last week and hubby totally flipped out. I sware he's such a girl. He called his mom, his dad and the police! What irked me was that the police actually showed up, and when I was home alone and a bat was in here they told me to just deal with it and wouldn't come out, yes a man calls freaking out about it and they come right on over. Geesh. We got new curtains and two $80 rugs for the living room. I spent an entire day just cleaning the living room and dining room, rearranging furniture and I have to say it looks spectacular! I spent an entire Saturday re-doing my vanity desk. It came out really nice. I painted it a pale dusty lavendar, then trimmed it in a darker shade of the same color. I refinished the mirror on it with matching felt and some purple hearts. I'm still debating on whether or not to stencil butterflies on it. I did however, get all new hardware for it and put that on there. It looks brand new now. I also finally got me one of those lighted make-up mirror so now I can see to tweeze my eyebrows and put my make-up on. It was $40 but well worth it.

I can't wait to go see my family. It's been too long already. I haven't seen them since we got married last August. Just biding my time until we can finally go. I still have two boxes of xmas presents to take to them as well.

I'm supposed to work 3-9pm today but I'm trying to get ahold of another woman who works there and switch her for her 9-5pm tomorrow. I'd rather stay home and get it cleaned because I know I won't get a thing done tomorrow and I need to do laundry desperately.

Better get my ass in gear, I've done enough procrastinating today already. Until next time.


I know I haven't posted in a while but that's what happens when you're working almost full time, going to college, taking care of the family and house, and not to mention my little zoo.

The hubby's b-day is coming up really fast on the 27th and I haven't a clue what to get him. He says to not buy him anything and just save my money...okey dokey that sounds good. My b-day is March 1st and since my microwave decided to become an entity on it's own (it started to turn on when you opened the door on it) hubby bought me a convection oven last night. Weeeeeee! ! This thing is totally awesome, I don't know how I lived without one before. You can bake, broil, toast and microwave all in one. There are so many buttons and functions on it that it'll take me years to figure it all out. Neato! The kiddo's b-day is March 3rd, I haven't a clue what to get him either. Supposed to be getting a swing set from a friend of mine for working for her driving cars but they've yet to bring it down my way.

I swear everyone around me has been getting sick. The kiddo has pink eye and some other kind of infection that they put him on antibiotics for, and now I think I have a sinus infection. I feel like poo and I'm all congested and coughing up yucky stuff.

I have to work again today. I think I only mananged to get one day off this week. At least I have tomorrow off, that's if nobody calls me in to work, and I don't think I can anyway because there's no school for the brat because of the holiday. I'm only scheduled to work three days this coming week...I don't see it actually working that way, it hasn't yet.

I got some really pale lavendar paint to do my vanity in. I don't care if it only matches the bathroom and It's in the hallway, purple is my favorite color and that's what it's gonna be ! ! Finally got new rechargable batteries for my digital camera too so now I can take lots of pics of my house, animals and stuff.

I get paid today too, yes! My child support has yet to be posted this month and it's usually posted no later than the 15th. I can see it's going to be late like it was last time, but hey I can't complain at least he always pays it. I owe my gma $200 (for appliances), and my sister $100 (for furniture) don't know how I'm gonna pull that off but I'll figure it out. We got our federal refund back a couple days ago, $7300, can we say woohooooo! ! ! It's all going on house repairs though. We have to replace the furnace and water heater and get the bat issue resolved, and if we're lucky we can put new windows in the first floor so we can actually open them when it warms up a bit. I told the hubby that some of that money was mine, because if it wasn't for me he wouldn't have got $3000 of that, I got $1000 for my son and $2000 for going to college. Whether he likes it or not he's giving me some of that money to pay on my appliances, it's only fair (the appliances cost me $3500). If I pay on them now they're not accruing interest, and being on a Sears Mastercard at like 24%, interest is something I have no interest in. I've only managed to pay $300 towards them so far, yikes!

I better get going, I have to leave for work in about an hour. At least I only have to work 12-5 today at the main office, so it won't be so bad. I get tired of always working the mall office completely by myself.


Going On's

For those of you that read this, I know I haven't been around for the past week or so and this is why:

Sunday my sister called (last sunday) and told me that they had until this weekend (the one we just had) to get all their stuff outta the house they're in. They're moving to Arizona soon to be with the rest of my family. So I had to borrow a truck from my uncle and haul ass down to my sister's to get the furniture I was getting from her. I was supposed to work Tuesday night but I didn't have a sitter so I ended up staying there until Wednesday. For $100 she gave me her twin bed and matresses, her dining table and chairs, her vanity, an entertainment center, and two barstools. Can't beat that huh?

I got home Wednesday and of course had to clean clean clean my house and get ready for my class that was starting Thursday. Friday, my son had out-patient surgery. He had to get recircumsized and has about 20 stitches in his weenie. Saturday I had to work 9-5 and came home to take care of the kiddo and try to catch up on some of the laundry around here. Sunday I ended up having to work 12-5, and when I got home I did more laundry and tried to do some school work before I fall behind. Today I have a million errands I have to do including unloading the truck so I can get it back to my uncle since I've had it for a week, and I have to work 3-9pm and I have some homework that has to be done and turned in tonight. Busy busy.

I won't get a day off of work until this coming Sunday. So if you all were wondering where in the hell I've been, that's where. I've been busting my ass working, doing homework, and trying to get my house half assed picked up. I have to take the kiddo to the doctor today to get checked on and do a little grocery shopping. Man, I never thought that even working part time I would be so stretched out all over the place but I definately am! I'm scheduled to work 36 hours this week.

To all of you reading, I miss you dearly and I shall return even if just for 20 minutes!

Work and Nasty notes

I had to work 9-5 yesterday, something I'm definately not used to and I took my lunch hour around 11:45 so I could come home and see the hubby before he left for work at noon. That was stupid of me, all he did was scream at me because I told him I was going to help my best friend Nancy repo a car after I got off work (and she was paying me to do it). I don't see the loss in that situation? All I told him was that I'd probably be home just a little bit after him last night and he blew a gasket, screamed divorce and left. So I left him a nice little note:

"You have no reason to be pissed off at me. If you're going to keep threatening divorce, just do it and get it over with. The NEXT time you mention a divorce, I'm packing my shit!! You act like I'm helping Nancy all the time. It's been well over a month, and she is paying me. Besides, it's MY time not yours. So the house is a little messy. News flash --> I'm working and going to school. I had 3 papers due Monday and a final Wednesday, deal with it. You talk about you working all the time for 8-10 hours, try working, going to school, raising a child, and keeping up the house. You'd never be able to handle it!! So get of my back. You have done nothing but bitch & complain for the past three weeks. If you haven't noticed, I'm miserable. Living with your attitude & demands sucks. This isn't much different than my first marriage. You yell and complain as much as he did. Marriage is about love and respect, not authority. If you think it gives you the right to tell me what to do, you are sadly mistaken. I am still an individual, you take that away and I might as well be dead, even that don't sound too bad right now. You have no respect for me, and I'm very sick of it. I have one good friend, who happens to be going through hell right now. She's paying me to drive one car for her and damn right I'm going to do it. She's always been there for me and hardly ever askes for help. So get over yourself, you are NOT all that!! You have no idea how to treat a woman. I'll be home when I'm done."

And that's all folks.

Stupid Dog

You know those metal cables you use to tie out the dog? Well, I went to pick up my son from school yesterday and I get a block down the road and notice that I still hear my dog barking, look in the rearview mirror and she's chasing my car! The little bitch chewed through it somehow. Boy, I was livid! This morning she's barking up a storm in the basement, hubby's yelling at me to put her outside, I'm yelling back I can't cause she chewed through her cable and there's nothing to tie her up with. Then hubby decided to come down here and yell at me some more about how I KNEW that her old chain was in the garage. Gee, I think if I'd known that I would have used it and put her outside already cause she's driving me nuts! So, off to get dressed and put the dog outside with the chain that she'll probably break again, that's why we got the cable! I can't buy a new cable until my child support comes in, damn I hate waiting on things.

Papers and Pissy Pants

So it's close to midnight. I spent most of today writing three papers for my Economics course which ends on Wednesday (thank god). I also managed to get most of my final done, five questions to go and I can tell this class to fuck off. *Sighs*, I can't wait.

Me and the kiddo took a nap earlier today, between my second and third paper. I was dead tired I needed to lay down so I could work some more with my eyes open. We only slept about two hours, and got up around 8pm. Hubby got home at 9:45pm and dinner was ready. Kiddo had already ate and was back up in his room, watching tv. So, I get my last paper done, dinner and everything and I sit back down here to do my stupid participation (four posts to the class). Just as I'm finishing up my husband tells me that my son is still up watching tv, I tell him that it's my fault because we took a nap and I hadn't tucked him in yet. So not two minutes later, my son comes down here crying because daddy yelled at him. I calmly get the kiddo into bed, and make sure he's calmed down and I go in to rip the hubby a new ass. He has no right yellin at my kid (that's right, he's not the biological daddy, he's only been daddy since the kiddo was 2 years old).

This is the fourth night in a row he's done this in the past week, getting really tired of this. Hubby's response to me telling him it was my fault he was up and he had no right to yell at him for it? "You never get on him, you're always yelling at me". What the fuck! ! Since when did this conversation turn into something else? Every time I try to talk to him about how he treats the kiddo it turns into a comparison of how I treat the kid compared to him. How stupid. I really don't see any logical reasoning on how that makes sense to follow the questions I ask him. I sware I married a retarded man. I really do not want to sleep in the same bed as him, I'm mad as all hell at the moment. I was so pissed with him last night that when I did go to bed around 1am that it took me over two hours to fall asleep. The nap I had late today when he was at work? I slept like a baby. I'm beginning to think I either have some serious issues, or I shouldn't have gotten married for the second time at all.

Men, who needs em anyways?

Pets and Carpets

So yesterday the hubby tells me that he's taking me to the pet store to get me a new hamster since both of mine are dead. RIP. I think he does this just to see how much he can tempt me and not follow through. We go to two pet stores, both have loads of hamsters, and many many more breeds beyond that, all of which would fit in the two seperate small animal cages I have. He then proceeds to tell me that I should wait! Blah on him! So, we go home hamsterless.

Animals are so tempting for me, I'd like to try a bird or a rabbit or a guinea pig, maybe even a chinchilla I was told those were really smart. You guessed it, when I'm 80 I'll be known as the crazy lady with way too many pets. Here I am, hamsterless...but I still have four cats, a fish (who will probably die any time now), and a dog (which I wanted, but had no clue what I was getting myself into).

Still haven't slept in our bed, it's been two weeks now. Hubby finally decided that he was going to help me remake the bed so I guess I'm doomed to retire upstairs with him tonight. He makes me so mad!

It's sunday so I decided to make a nice brunch since we slept in today. As soon as I sit down to eat mine, cold by now of course he decided it's a good time to start in with me. The kiddo was sitting right here at the table and he starts his shit (grr!!).

All of this was over a vaccum cleaner. Ours isn't working right and it's not even a year old. I hate bagless vaccums, they're junk. I told him to just pay the three bucks to get me a belt for the old vaccum I have out in the garage but he swears he despises vaccums with the bags in them because they have no suction. So, in desperation I tell him to go buy a new vaccum then, the kind his mom has that of course means it's the best ever! Off to the store he goes. Guess what he comes home with? A vaccum that uses a bag! ! I love being right and all, but man men can be so fucking stupid! What was with all the name calling and telling me I was stupid and I didn't know my head from my ass if he was going to go to the store and buy what I told him would work in the first place?

So the new vaccum, that uses BAGS is working great and hubby is having a grand old time vaccuming every room in the house going "hey this is neat, it works so good, can you feel all of that suction?" Man, I had to bite my tongue.

Hubby has also resorted to sending the kiddo down here to ask me questions. We got into a huge argument this afternoon about I don't even remember now (it just goes on and on), so he sends the kiddo down here around 7pm butt naked (because he's getting ready to take a bath) just to ask me if I really wanted to get a divorce. Aparantly he's too chicken shit to bring it up to me himself. Maybe it's because it's fine when he's ripping me an ass but the second I start to retort (which I'm rather good at) he decides that he's done conversing with me and I'm just a heartless bitch who always has to have her way.

Lately I've said the divorce thing quite a bit, but it's only when he pushes me. He loves to hold my security over my head and that includes being married to him and living in "his" house. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I feel threatened so out it comes "file for a divorce then". I hate my life.

Everything that breaks or goes wrong around here I'm aparantly making says the man who thinks all must obey him. When we got back from shopping last night I went to close the back door and the deadbolt was stuck, broken but of course it was my fault. The cats have an obsession with knocking their food out of their bowls, that's my fault too. I must be pretty good at teaching them tricks if I can teach them that it's wrong to eat out of the bowl, no no no you have to throw your food OUT of the bowl before you can eat it! Don't you know we only eat off of the carpet in this house? I just LOVE it when there's food ground into the beige carpet that I have to spend hours cleaning with the carpet scrubber. It really makes my day. I must make a note to try it myself sometime soon!

Reminds me, the stains in the carpet from the cats yaking is all my fault too. Lets not forget about the dog, even though she's forbidden from being inside the house now it's my fault and she's messing up the carpets! I was told today that he was going to make me buy new carpets so he could ruin them. For one, when we bought this house this year the carpets were over ten years old even though they don't look like it. Two, the carpets are really not that stained! ! He is convinced that using the carpet scrubber is tearing up the carpet and causing even more stains.

My husband=retarded.

Life is like a box of chocolates

So, I've had this journal for quite a while and I've decided hey why not use it!

Both my hamsters are dead now. I had to put one to sleep four months ago, yes I know I'm a huge sap. The last one died it it's sleep, at least that's what I'm telling myself. I had good news and bad news last Friday and that was my bad news. Went downstairs to put the dog to bed and my hammy was dead. I cried.

Over our two week break from college I took a week long free tax preparation class and I ended up getting hired there. That was my good news. Today I prepared our first return. Yeah me!

I haven't slept in my bedroom for two weeks. It started because the hubby had the flu, and well I just haven't migrated back up there. He goes to bed so early I figure why bother, he's leaving at 4am. Only one more week of this crappy first shift and he should be on second. I certainly can not wait! He gets home from work, eats dinner and goes up to the bedroom. What kind of shitty life am I living? It's like we're roomates almost.

I had a team paper for college due last night and when I went upstairs to tuck in the kiddo so I could sit down and get it finished because my team was obviously not going to help, hubby decided that it was a good time to try to persuade me to give him some pleasure. Do men just not listen? What part of I have a paper due in four hours, and nobody is helping me finish it didn't he hear? I give up. I don't think I was meant to ever be married. Maybe that's why my first marriage didn't work out.

I still have a headache from all of the stress last night. Our paper was to be 2500-3000 words and once again one of the team members didn't do her share so of course lucky me got to do hers and mine. I'm tired of my kindness being taken advantage of. Lets just say that last night was horrid. I spent three solid hours working on a TEAM paper by myself that was pretty much finished to start with. That is only because I did most of the work for it to begin with! ! I hate some of my teammates. I finally caved in and called the one teammate whom I've been in all my classes with at home and asked her to come help me, if she hadn't been there I would have sat here and cried instead.

People suck,
I'm outta here

My zoo

I have 2 hamsters, Sabrina and Tiger. I just got rid of one (who was the 3rd) to a good home, he's going to be a class pet. My fish named Ice (beta). Three cats, Felix (black and white tuxedo, the oldest, male), Chloe (grey stripped with a few spots of caramel, female, my middle child), and Tyler (orange tabby, male, youngest, and awnryest). I also now have a dog Olivia who is about 14 weeks old (beagle mix, female). Welcome to my zoo...

First off, I'd like to address the rules in this house my lovlies...
#1 Do not chew, knaw, or try to eat any clothing or anything that is made out of wood. The chairs in the dining room need the legs in order for us to sit on.
#2 Baths are GOOD! Refrain from making mommy bleed profusely when all she is doing is trying to keep you from getting fleas.
#3 The dog food is for the DOG, the cat food is for the CATS, not vice versa.
#4 People food is for PEOPLE, animals do not get this luxury. That is why mommy buys so many cat/dog/hamster treats and wet food for appropriate species.
#5 The carpet is not a bathroom. Peeing/pooping on the beige carpet will result in punishment and the silent treatment from mommy.
#6 Scratching me is not affection.
#7 The little human that lives here does not like to be bit.
#8 Teasing the dog is not acceptable (to my feline babies). We all know you aren't as scared as you pretend but double standards are not allowed in my house. If you can sniff the dog, she can sniff you back!
#9 Toys are seperated for a reason, Olivia doesn't get to play with your fuzzy mice so leave her squeaky toys alone. And to Olivia, the pieces of furr for the cats (their 2nd favorite toys) is not NOT a dog toy! So, stop trying to run away with them.
#10 Mommy loves you all, but I currently only have two hands, just because one is getting attention is no reason to throw a hissy fit and scare them away. This action will not result in favorable attention for you! !

To kitties:
Stop teasing the dog. She's a baby, much like you were when I brought you home. Sitting just out of her reach and tempting her to sniff you so you can hiss/growl and freak out when she wants to smell you is ridiculous. Soon, I will be letting her out of her "area" and off her leash and she will most certainly catch you then. She is only leashed inside right now because she is still not potty trained completely and I have to make sure she's not chewing on everything.
Also, what has happened to the two dozen mice I bought you? I have looked everywhere for them to no avail. I just bought you a dozen more not even a week ago and we're already down to 6...What are you doing with them?
Tyler, the dog food is not in that nice service station as an all you can eat buffet for when mommy isn't looking...stop eating it, it's not good for you. You have plenty of all you can eat CAT food. I assure you that your water is exactly the same as the dog's so just stay out of her general area, all you do is act like she's after you anyway.
I know you guys didn't like the flea collars I bought you because you started freaking out when I put them on you. That's why I took them off after much chasing. That is why I had to give you all baths, because the box said some kitties have sensitive skin and if you have a reaction to them you need it washed off immediately. I am sorry I was just being careful. Thanks for ripping the skin off my wrist Tyler and for acting like that tiny bath was murder. Felix stood in the doorway the entire time meowing right back at you because he thought I was killing his baby. Chloe, thanks for not scratching me, but really was it necessary to bite me so hard you drew blood? Felix, thanks so much for just being you, and even though you hated it you didn't hurt me or act like the babies did through the experience.

To the dog, Olivia,
Chewing on furniture is a NO NO! Chewing on me is a bigger no no, hands are NOT chew toys tyvm. Kitties are not play things either. I know you are curious, but with the way you interact with the outdoor kitty, you know what I'm talking about (that jumping on her and putting her in your mouth thing), I'm kind of scared to see what you will do to the three indoor kitties. Barking inside is not allowed, so knock it off. You know better than to pee/poop on the carpet now, so why WHY are you doing it in your kennel? You don't do it in your upstairs bed so why do it on your nice fluffy blanket downstairs? If you keep doing it I'm going to be forced to removed all blankets down there until you knock it off! Pulling my drying clothes off the dining room chairs so that you can chew on them is also off time you will be punished. Also, just because I get up to go potty does not mean I am never returning so please refrain from chewing on my school books, and anything else you can get your little paws on in the two minutes I am absent. Bad girls go back into their kennel, so stop it, I hate having you locked up but you leave me no other options. If I could trust you at night you wouldn't even have to sleep in the kennel, but we both know that isn't going to happen any time soon.
Also, you're going to the vet again the beginning of next month and you will be staying for a day or two. This trip isn't going to be as fun as the last one because you are getting fixed. They will be giving you your last puppy immunizations as well but you probably won't even feel those this time. That male human that lives here changed his mind about wanting a dog because he thinks you're ruining everything we own, so please knock it off. I've already spent over $500 on you and I'd hate to have to give you away, so please shape up. I know you can be a great doggie if you just TRY! !

----The woman who argues with her husband about the animals, and who spends her paycheck on treats/food/litter and other play things.